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Navigating feelings for someone who isn't your partner.

Navigating feelings for someone who isn't your partner.

Many of us have been there. Feelings of attraction toward someone outside of your relationship can be both confusing and challenging – which means approaching these situations with honesty, self-reflection, and empathy. In this blog post, we'll explore how to deal with developing feelings for someone outside your relationship. We'll discuss why you may be attracted to them, whether those aspects can be replicated in your existing relationship, the impact of flirting with this person, distinguishing between problematic crushes and genuine options, and understanding patterns of attraction. So, let's delve into this complex emotional terrain together!

Understanding attraction.
When you develop feelings for someone outside your relationship, it's essential to reflect on why you are attracted to them. Is it their personality, shared interests, or a sense of novelty? Understand that attraction doesn't necessarily mean there's something lacking in your current relationship. It may simply be an opportunity for self-discovery and growth. Explore these attractions as a way to gain insight into your desires and needs, but remember to maintain emotional integrity.

Replicating that attraction.
While it's natural to wonder if you can replicate the attraction you feel for someone new within your current relationship, it's important to approach this thought process with caution. Instead of comparing your partner to the new person, focus on identifying what aspects of the attraction you can explore and cultivate within your relationship. Openly communicate with your partner about your desires and work together to nourish your connection, embracing new experiences and reigniting the spark.

The impact of others.
Flirting with someone outside your relationship can have significant consequences. While often totally harmless in a casual sense, it can lead to emotional betrayal, hurt feelings, and erode trust between you and your partner. It can also bring up feelings of guilt and discomfort, so consider the potential impact on your relationship. Ask yourself if temporary excitement is worth risking the long-term stability and happiness you've built together. It's crucial to respect the boundaries of your committed partnership and focus on nurturing your emotional connection with your partner instead.

Genuine option, or problematic crush.
Determining whether your attraction is a problematic crush or a genuine option requires honest self-reflection. Ask yourself if the attraction stems from a place of dissatisfaction or unmet needs in your current relationship. Assess if pursuing this new connection aligns with your values and long-term goals. Understand that fantasies can be tempting, but they often lack the complexities and realities of a committed partnership. Choose emotional integrity by addressing any underlying issues within your relationship rather than seeking solace in external options.

Questioning if this is a pattern.
Recognising patterns of attraction in your life can provide valuable insights into your emotional landscape. Explore whether this attraction is a recurring theme or an isolated occurrence. Consider if it signifies deeper issues that need addressing, such as unfulfilled desires or unresolved conflicts. Self-awareness and understanding your patterns can empower you to make informed decisions about your relationships and personal growth. 


“There's nothing more intimate in life than simply being understood. And understanding someone else.”

 Brad Meltzer

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